Yesterday was insane. Not a completely bad insane, just full and pulled in a lot of directions. In some ways it was good that my TV night ended up being reruns, it gave me the opportunity to have a good talk with my hubby. Something we both needed.
But another reason why I didn't write my Thankful Thursday post yesterday was because I couldn't. I was struggling to find the words, to find the thanks. As I have been learning so much about God's desire and plan for marriage in our women's bible study, I am also struck with how broken this area of life is for so many people. I am trying to help a friend through an incredibly hard situation. My heart aches. I hate all the pain and the hardship she is enduring, with no visible end in sight. I was feeling pretty hopeless after talking with her yesterday and was thinking that I didn't even know what to thank God for in this situation.
I have also been struggling with parenting Jesse (which I alluded to in my Monday post) and I feel like I am running out of wisdom and ways to relate to him. We are waiting on insurance approval (FOREVER!) to get him assessed for ADHD and I think I also want to explore some of the Asperger's type symptoms we see sometimes. I am at the point where I just need help and I think that getting some sort of diagnosis will help us get the resources we need- we have exhausted everything else.
Then today I went to Jesse's school, like I do every Friday, for lunchroom duty and I met one of my neighbors, who was also doing lunch duty. We got to talking and I asked her why her two sons didn't ride the bus to school (Jesse is the only one from our neighborhood on his bus) and she responded, "My older son has ADHD and Asperger's and it is just not the best situation for him." I had to hold back my amazement at the irony. God took care of me this afternoon. He sent this mother to me to encourage me, to give me great resources and to let me know that I am not alone. I left school feeling a little something like hopeful.
Despite my faithlessness, despite the brokenness and the heartache, I continue to give thanks because these are the places to see God and to know him.....
the opportunity to glorify God with my marriage
the prayers of friends
laughter and this quote from a friend, "There's not going to be a scale [in heaven], not if Jesus is involved." Amen.
a God who binds up the broken
a long talk with Matt
having him hold me close
comfort at the end of a hard day
a big bear hug from Jesse when he saw me at school
seeing him interact with his friends at lunch
a God of hope, who fills me with hope
the wisdom of those who have gone before
therapy groups that teach kids social skills (!)
God's tender care for me
his spirit in me, drawing out the thanks
time to myself this afternoon (thanks Bek!)
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.