Monday, March 7, 2011

Mommy Monday


My sister wrote a post recently about how she is grieving the things she will have to give up when her baby comes. She received some helpful comments and I know that she got a lot of encouragement from a friend of hers.  Of course, everything she is feeling is completely normal.  It is overwhelming to think about all the changes that will take place when your baby arrives.  I suppose you are never really prepared for how much life changes and then after a while, you can't imagine your life any differently.  In fact, when I read her post I had to try really hard to remember the things I missed before I had kids.  The truth of the matter is that we had our first baby just two years after we were married, so we didn't really have much of a life to give up!  For us it has always been looking forward to when the kids are older and all the things we will enjoy then.  Either way, trying to enjoy the moments has they come will bring the greatest joy. 

What are the things you miss about your pre-children life?  
What have you learned through the changes?   


words and streets said...

Great questions... And mature insight to stop and realize what's going on. I too don't remember much of married life before kids, but I do remember grieving prior while I was pregnant with number one. And here I am nursing number three and grieving that this will be my last babe! Funny how things change. Becoming a mom ... geez, where to begin? For me...deeper prayer life, more flexibility, and ironically a desire and appreciation of a slower more simple life. Wait am I answering the question? It's 1:45 am and can't remember! Anyways--new moms are wise to grieve a little. That's real and honest. But like any other life change, I guarantee Jesus will give you the grace to walk the journey, even when we don't realize it. The grace to be a mom won't be there until the very first day you are a mom! I didn't think I could do this again (num three). I was in denial for awhile and in the end fearful of being able to mother a third. God has provided what I need daily so far and He will for you. I guess that's another lesson: Manna for momma.

signonthewindow said...

Just sleep. Most of the other things that were a part of our lives we were able to do (with some bravery and much assistance) after T was out of the infant stage. We took her to Ireland. We road-tripped across the country. We swapped babysitting for date nights and our little one has already been to two protests (and another one tonight!).

Life does even back out in a lot of ways, but sleep and significant down time throughout the day are gone forever. But this is also a good time to "know thyself." Staying at home was a lose-lose for us. I love being a mama but I also recognize that this is a two way street. And one direction of that street is me not staying at home full time!

5th Belle Avenue said...

Great post! For a while there I would have said that I miss SLEEEEEEP!! But B is doing SO much better and my body has actually adjusted to less sleep, who would have thought! There are things I miss, but those things have been replaced with SO many incredible things that make it more than worth it.

Could that baby pic of Silas be any cuter?!

Sullivan's Mom said...

Let's see....what do I miss.
I echo all the other comments - I don't really remember. The sleeping? That's an easy one - but I did try really hard to nap once a day - mostly when he took two naps at first - one of those times would be my nap as well.
I miss my brains....I don't remember anything anymore. Really.
I guess I miss time to myself - although it helps to have a husband who supports "me time." a massage now and then, night out with friends, babysitters, yoga class.....anyway. I guess my point is - there's an importance to a little balance - being a mother is one facet of who you are as a person. I think it's important to remember that and take some time to center yourself. Happy mom = happy baby.

I say - enjoy your time before you don't have any! Prepare for baby and appreciate these precious few months. Pretty soon you won't remember the things you thought you would miss - I remember the feeling meeting Sullivan - it was like he was never not there - I never once felt sad for the things I gave up to be a mother.
What Allie said is so true - you won't have the grace to do the job until you're doing the job. It will come!